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Showing posts from June, 2015

The Smark Henry RAW Report (6/29/15): I'm Only Human

And I bleed when I fall down.
When WWE Creative screws up with its booking, they won't apologize, but we've all seen them subtly acknowledge it when they start writing their characters the way they're supposed to be written. Roman Reigns is the best example of this right now.
After Seth Rollins turned on the Shield last year, my initial thoughts were that the Authority would keep feuding with Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose, and that this would be a long saga that would eventually culminate in a triple threat matchup involving all three Shield alumni. A little over a year has passed since then, and it's funny that we're getting it now, albeit one year late.
With Rollins as the Authority's poster boy, Ambrose had a foil to feud with for the next year while Reigns immediately pursued the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. We've said on the SGP Podcast over and over that this would hurt Roman for two reasons: (1) Roman looked stupid for forgetting to get back at R…

People Power (6/30/15): The Five Best Bodies In Wrestling Today

Welcome to the latest edition of People Power, the only column here at Smark Henry powered entirely by you, our beloved fellow smarks!

It's Body Appreciation Week here at the site because as we wrote earlier this week, if wrestling is theater, then a wrestler's body is his greatest prop. And so over the weekend, we asked you to vote on who you considered to have the five best physiques in wrestling today.

So without further ado, here's how the voting turned out.



*****

Honorable Mentions: We just need to get this out of the way: You guys didn't vote John Cena onto the list.
WE REPEAT: YOU GUYS DIDN'T VOTE JOHN. FREAKING. CENA. ONTO THE LIST.
The man has a freaking fitness empire to his name, for crying out loud. That, for us, was the biggest omission. For that, we have one word for you all.

...okay, that felt good. Shame, indeed.
Other notable omissions include Captain Crossfit himself, Seth Rollins, as well as "The Show-Off" Dolph Ziggler, and the Swiss S…

WWE RAW Results (6/29/15)

WWE World Champion Seth Rollins was on a roll (get it?) and in high spirits this Monday on RAW after he and The Authority demolished Brock Lesnar last week. But will it last the whole night?



Rollins and The Authority kicked off RAW celebrating how they "burned Lesnar's Suplex City to the ground" last week. The champ then handed out gifts to Kane and J&J Security: Apple watches for all, plus a Hawaiian vacation for Kane and a new limo for J&J!

Later, Rollins and Kane will face Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns in a No DQ Match!

1. The Big Show def. Mark Henry via a knockout punch
- The Miz was on commentary during the match
- After the pinfall, Intercontinental Champion Ryback brawled with Big Show until Miz interjected with a big boot to the champ
- Ryback then challenged Miz to go back to the ring to start their match, which was scheduled for later

2. Intercontinental Champion Ryback def. The Miz via count-out in a non-title match

3. Paige def. Alicia Fox via a roll-u…

#ThemeSongTuesday: You Can Run (You Can Hide, But You Can't Escape My Love)

No, this actually isn't about Enrique Iglesias's "Escape."

When Jamie Noble went down last week on RAW after Brock Lesnar slammed him against the barricade, there was another former Cruiserweight Champion who volunteered his services.


Maybe while @WWENoble is healing up I can step in with @WWEMercury to help out @WWERollins? How does BJ Security sound? #WWE#Raw — Billy Kidman (@WWEKidman) June 23, 2015
Yeah, we don't think BJ Security is going to go over well in the PG era, let alone with the older male audience.

In any case, Stan Sy and Anthony Cuello over at the Smark Henry offices miss Kidman's time as an in-ring performer, and more importantly, his entrance theme. Here it is for your listening pleasure:


If any of you are wondering where Billy Kidman is now, he is currently a backstage producer for Monday Night RAW. And maybe he's also somewhere backstage wondering if he can be Seth and Joey's hero, baby.

Photo from WWE.

The Grapevine (6/30/15): Dolph Ziggler Hasn't Actually Signed A New Deal Yet

Good morning, everyone! It's your daily Grapevine, and for those who need to catch up, here's today's round-up of the (technically unconfirmed) dirt and rumors from the cartoon world of pro wrestling that you may have missed from the day before.

There's a reason why you should always take the fruit on the 'Vine with a grain of salt, and it begins here:



After claiming in an interview with the Boston Herald that he was re-signing with the company, Dolph Ziggler is backtracking on those comments. He says that while he would like to stay wrestling in WWE until the end of his career, he has yet to come across terms that he likes. He wants to do things outside wrestling, such as stand-up comedy, film, and TV, and if he isn't allowed time to do that, he might consider leaving the company for a little while. Dolph wants to be a "bigger asset" to the company, and also claims that it's not about pushes (or lack thereof). (Source: The Chad Dukes Wrestling Sh…

The Word On The Rings (6/30/15): The Evolution of the Pro Wrestling Physique (Part 1)

Part 1: A history of bodies in professional wrestling



Each sign in wrestling is therefore endowed with an absolute clarity, since one must always understand everything on the spot. As soon as the adversaries are in the ring, the public is overwhelmed with the obviousness of the roles. As in the theater, each physical type expresses to excess the part which has been assigned to the contestant.

- Roland Barthes, “The World of Wrestling,” in Mythologies


One could argue that no aspect of professional wrestling is more important than the body.

*****
Thomas Billington was by no means a "big man:" at 5'8" tall and billed at 227 pounds, the man known as today as the legendary "Dynamite Kid" was a bit out of place in a spectacle defined by hulking giants and muscle-bound figures. Despite being massively talented, Dynamite was just that: a little too small.

To fit in to the demands of the business, Dynamite Kid turned to steroids. In his book, Hitman: My Real Life in …

#MustWatchMonday: Battle at Boyle Heights

For this week's edition of #MustWatchMonday, we bring you another gem from the previous week's wrestling-related content. In case you missed it, here's the Fatal 4-Way match that happened at Lucha Underground between They Call Him Cage, Aero Star, Marty "The Moth" Martinez and The Mack:




This is a textbook example of how you manage to give each competitor in a multi-man match time to shine. 
Normally, these kinds of matches have one or two guys who stand out for their in-ring work, with everyone else behind them. However, this one gave all four men the opportunity to stand out. The Moth was kind of an unknown quantity before, but here he proved that he can go with the best Lucha Underground has to offer. Nobody expected that dive from the Moth. The Mack has been here a little while longer, but he too showed everyone what he's capable of—a standing moonsault, to be specific. That exploder suplex was easily the highlight of this match. Aero Star and Cage may be…

The Grapevine (6/29/15): The TNA Exodus Continues, But Kurt's Gonna Be All Right

Good morning, everyone! It's your daily Grapevine, and for those who need to catch up, here's today's round-up of the (technically unconfirmed) dirt and rumors from the cartoon world of pro wrestling that you may have missed from the day before.

The sad and somewhat infuriating TNA saga continued over the weekend, and for those who were too busy living to keep up with the soap opera, here's what happened:

TNA's roster exodus continues. James Storm, Austin Aries, Magnus, and Mickie James are apparently done after Slammiversary today (Manila time). This follows the departures of Low Ki, Samuel Shaw, and Gunner. Storm and Magnus claim that there's simply more money to be made elsewhere. Aries's deal also expired and he did not renew; he loses to Rockstar Spud in a future match in which he must leave TNA. Interestingly, Awesome Kong and TNA Knockouts Champion Taryn Terrell were also rumored to be leaving, but both women and TNA executive Bob Ryder denied that p…