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Temple Rants (6/5/15): It Takes Gutz to be a Guerrero

Last week, Prince Puma settled things with his challenger Hernandez, as the two squared off for the Lucha Underground Championship. With the help of Konnan and a foreign object, Prince Puma successfully defended his belt once more. Mil Muertes came back with a bang, getting some revenge (and probably killing) Fenix. Speaking of deaths, Bael met a grisly fate at the hands of Dario Cueto’s brother, as a result of the Crew’s failure to win the Trios Championship. Heck, last week was a Game of Thrones episode disguised as Lucha Underground.

Chavo Guerrero starts us off in Dario Cueto’s office, telling the boss that Black Lotus is on her way to the Temple. Chavo gives Cueto a summary of what transpired between him, Lotus and El Dragon Azteca, before saying that a Guerrero is loyal to the highest bidder. Cueto brings out a stack of cash, but Chavo wants round-the-clock protection in Mexico. Done. Cueto then asks him what he really wants, before the cameras cut.

PLOT TWIST! Chavo’s in cahoots with El Jefe! I can’t believe I missed out this possibility, considering that we’re dealing with Chavo Guerrero. Then again, I shouldn’t be, because:

If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying!

Black Lotus better watch her back now.

Striker and Vampiro tell us what’s in store, and the band finishes up. Time for our first match!

Match 1: Argenis vs. Jack Evans

Evans mocks an older Lucha fan as he makes his way to the ring. He’s got the douche look going, which makes him perfect for the heel role he portrays here. Argenis is out next, making his second return after having his arm broken by Pentagon Jr. His original return was cut short when Texano went apeshit and destroyed everyone, so hopefully we see more of him here.

Dario Cueto comes out and mocks both wrestlers, saying that nobody cares about Argenis and that Evans couldn’t even win his first match. Damn, the boss poking fun at the wrestlers, where have I seen this before? Cueto announces that he’s going to make this match interesting by putting up one of the Aztec medallions at stake here. About time we got another one on the line!

Evans with the typical heel handshake bait to start, kicking Argenis against the ropes. Argenis comes right back with powerbomb, but Evans uses the referee as a post to swing in and kick Argenis’ head. He hits a nice corkscrew moonsault and slows down the match with a great transition into an armbar. He hits a flippy back elbow and tries for another one, but Argenis catches him and takes Evans to Suplex City!

The two trade some dives, before Argenis slams Evans into the fan barricade. Action goes back into the ring, and Argenis hits a Michinoku Driver! He charges at Evans, but the American catches him with a backslide for the sudden pinfall!

Winner: Jack Evans!

Evans is coming along nicely in LU as the arrogant, loudmouth heel, and he’s been great so far. I wonder if something bad will happen to him now, though, because the last guy who won an Aztec medallion ended up getting powerbombed through a roof.

Delavar Daivari is talking to Big Ryck in the locker room, and apparently they’ve been given a Trios Championship match. Big Ryck suggests his cousin The Mack as their third guy, who conveniently walks into the camera. Cage interrupts, says he wants a shot, and proceeds to just maul The Mack. Daivari is happy they’ve found their third man, and Big Ryck stares at his fallen cousin before walking off. I’m very stoked to see this team up next. I mean, who’d have thought Wolverine would be teaming up with Nick Fury in the Temple?

In another locker room, Chavo is telling Black Lotus that Cueto has allowed her to fight in the Temple, and that they’ll deal with Matanza in due time. Watch out! Chavo tries to attack Lotus from behind, but she manages to fight back with some Fernando Poe Jr.-style machine gun punches. Chavo calls in backup, who turn out to be Cortez Castro and Mr. Cisco (RIP Bael). Black Lotus manages to fend them off, but Chavo takes her out from behind and handcuffs her. After going at a snail’s pace with the Black Lotus storyline, they seem to have sped it up this week. Will we finally see Matanza?

Match 2: Big Ryck, Cage and Delavar Daivari vs. Angelico, Ivelisse and Son of Havoc (c) in a Trios Championship Match

The challengers make their way out doing their own things. Daivari is sipping cognac, Ryck is puffing a cigarette, and Cage is, uh, standing there looking like he normally does. The champions come out once again to cheers, as Ivelisse struggles to make her way down the stairs. Nice bit with Angelico bringing Ivelisse crutches down for her, that builds towards them coming together as a team. The referee raises the belts to signify a title match, but wait, why are there only two belts?

Angelico and Cage start off, and Angelico gets some early offense in with kicks and knees to the Machine. Son of Havoc suddenly tags in, which pisses off Angelico, and Cage takes advantage with a double clothesline. The Golden Warrior tags in, but Son of Havoc keeps it going with a standing moonsault and a back elbow. Angelico returns the favor by tagging in abruptly, and chaos erupts with the legal men taking out the opposing team’s other luchadors. Ivelisse is pissed and sits down.

Big Ryck tags in and continues the offense, before tagging Daivari back in. Angelico tries for a top rope move, but Daivari just swipes his legs from underneath him. Big Ryck lifts Angelico up for a suplex, tags Cage in, and transfers him to the Machine for that delayed vertical suplex. Impressive. Angelico fights back and manages to take out Cage with a kick, but Big Ryck cuts Son of Havoc off. Ivelisse climbs up the apron, but Daivari attacks her. Ryck revs up in the corner, and—wait, it’s Texano! Texano with a blow to Big Ryck! Angelico takes advantage and nails Daivari with a knee, before taking out Cage on the outside. Son of Havoc tags in and goes up top, hitting a Shooting Star Press for the win!

Winners, and STILL your Trios Champions—Angelico, Ivelisse and Son of Havoc!

Texano continues his feud with Daivari, this time costing the Shah a chance to win some gold. They’ve been building that feud up for quite some time now, so I’m expecting a solid match to put an end to that. Meanwhile, the champions continue to have some rough patches, with Son of Havoc and Angelico’s arguments causing them to lose the advantage a couple of times. Once again, they found a great way to involve Ivelisse without having her wrestle. Somebody call Daniel Bryan and tell him to take lessons from this girl, because she’s still walking out champion despite being injured.

Black Lotus is gagged up, and Chavo presents her as a gift to Dario Cueto. Cueto does his evil smile and tells her she’ll be put right across Metanza, so that he won’t be lonely. Yeah, this was a creepy segment.

We’re back in the ring, and Melissa says it’s time for our main event!

Match 3: Pentagon Jr. vs. Sexy Star in a Submission Match

Nice tribute from Pentagon Jr., coming out in a Perros del Mal shirt to honor the late Perro Aguayo. The masked menace comes out amidst chants of “Pentagon!” and “cero miedo!” once more. Sexy Star makes her way out next, to an equally loud reaction from the crowd. This is apparently our first Submission Match in Lucha Underground, which is surprising. I mean, we’ve had a Casket Match, a Ladder Match, a Best-of-Five, and even a fucking Deathmatch. Have we not really had a good ol’ submission match yet? Pentagon Jr. takes the mic and tells the crowd in Spanish that he’s going to break Sexy Star, but she gets the jump on him and the bell is rung!

Pentagon takes early control with some kicks and a loud chop, before the two trade some strikes across the corners. Pentagon tries for an early armbar, but Sexy Star counters and locks in a guillotine. Pentagon manages to escape, but Sexy Star takes him out with a dive through the middle ropes.

Sexy Star continues the smackdown, throwing Pentagon Jr. into the ring posts and hitting some kicks. Sexy Star locks in an STF, but Pentagon Jr. easily gets out of it. Now it’s Pentagon’s turn to lock in a very cool-looking submission, but Sexy Star counters and locks in an armbar of her own! Pentagon Jr. nearly takes her head off with a vicious superkick, then tries to get Sexy Star to tap out with another cool looking submission.

Sexy Star gets to the ropes, and the fight spills outside once more. Sexy Star climbs up the barricade, and hits a crossbody onto Pentagon! That gets a “this is awesome!” chant, but no count, as this is a submission match. Sexy Star locks in a single leg boston crab in the middle of the ring, and it looks like Pentagon is about to tap! Wait, no! It’s Super Fly! He looks on as Sexy Star continues to apply pressure, but then takes her out! What just happened!? Sexy Star eats a powerbomb and then a package piledriver, before tapping out to a surfboard and chinlock from Pentagon! What!?

Winner: Pentagon Jr.!

Uh oh, Pentagon Jr. is about to break an arm! He tries for the dreaded armbar, but wait, it’s Vampiro! Vampiro knocks Pentagon Jr. off Sexy Star! The two almost come to blows, before our commentator walks away and goes to the back. We see Vampiro backstage, and it seems he’s in conflict with what he wants to do.

Embrace the hate, brother. Time to rage.

Alright, so it seems that Vampiro is finally heading towards a feud with Pentagon Jr., which should be something to watch. I guess we’ll find out if this brother can still go, but I look forward to how they’re going to build this up. The match itself was okay. It wasn’t better than previous main events, but it wasn’t bad, either. Pentagon Jr. was able to display a nice suite of submission moves, though, which was a surprise as you would’ve expected him to keep using his patented armbar. I’m also looking forward to seeing what they do with Sexy Star and Super Fly, as it seems that there’s more to be told with that story.

This week’s episode was just okay. Not bad, but after a hot couple of episodes things seemed to have cooled down a bit. This show gets a C+, with plus points for the vintage Chavo segments and all the character building that happened. In-ring action was just okay, though.

TL;DR Results:

  • Jack Evans def. Argenis
  • Angelico, Ivelisse and Son of Havoc def. Delavar Daivari, Big Ryck and Cage to retain the Trios Championship
  • Pentagon Jr. def. Sexy Star via submission

What did you think of this episode? Let us know in the comments!


Anthony Cuello is an HR professional and training designer. When he’s not sleeping or reading the Harvard Business Review, he covers NJPW and Lucha Underground for Smark Henry. A psychology nut, he tends to watch wrestling looking for these small nuances of in-ring behavior. He dreams of a wrestling business with good people management practices, and hopes to help make that happen one day.


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