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Heavy Impact (7/8/15): The Carter Family Revue

The Carter Family is our beginning and our end. They are our alpha and our omega.

At least, for tonight’s show.

We hear from our champ, Ethan Carter III, that he is in charge of tonight’s Impact Wrestling card. Not only that, he will defend his title three times in the main event against three undisclosed opponents. That announcement naturally made a lot of wrestlers hopeful for a title opportunity.

First to try his luck at luring a title shot from EC3 is Matt Hardy. He also tried to get #matt4champ off the ground. Before he can lay his hand on the champ, EC3 placed him on the first handicap match of the night with the Dirty Heels.

Matt Hardy vs The Dirty Heels on a Two-on-One Handicap Match

The Dirty Heels are all business tonight. Understandable, given last week’s title loss. They made short work of Matt Hardy in the match. Matt Hardy tried to lay in some offense of his own, but in the end was pinned by Austin Aries (with Bobby Roode holding Hardy’s foot from the outside). Thus, the Dirty Heels gets the win!

EC3 exclaims with delight: "They are so dirty!"

The match was decent enough. The Dirty Heels were subdued throughout this match, given to what happened to them story-wise last week, and with Austin Aries leaving TNA soon. My gripe with it though: because this is a handicap match on their favor, they would’ve still won without resorting to their usual heel tactics. If they keep up this form on all their matches, the Dirty Heels will become as boring and ordinary as any other heel tag team. Then again, I’m guessing that at this point, considering Aries’ pending release, they probably don’t care about that anymore.

Next up, we see the members of The Rising in the ring for their final message. Flanking Drew Galloway are Mica and Eli Drake (who’s on crutches). Drew says that while The Rising was disbanded, each of them will still be against all injustice in the pro wrestling business. The future is bright in TNA, he says, and you can believe that, as long as we all #standup. EC3, being the douche that he is, calls the speech a bunch of bull and sets up the second handicap match of the night: Drew Galloway versus Khoya, Abyss, and Manik, also known as The Revolution.

Drew Galloway vs The Revolution (Khoya, Abyss, and Manik) on a Three-on-One Handicap Match
Drew gallantly tried to fight back against the onslaught of two big guys and a smaller dude, but no dice. My notable note on this match is the awesome powerslam by the underrated Khoya. Fortunately for Drew, Khoya and Abyss started to bicker, enabling him to hit a boot on Manik’s face, then a pin. Surprise win for Drew Galloway!

Drew is probably thinking: oh no, not again!

I would rate this match between average and low. Drew Galloway is in his usual heroic persona, Manik is pathetic as usual, and Abyss didn’t do anything else except to quarrel with Khoya. The match was saved by Khoya because he was the only one who was doing something remotely exciting.

Mr. Anderson becomes the second guy who tries to get a title shot from EC3. No way, EC3 replies. He then says that Mr. Anderson have a match with the delightful monster, Bram, and that is up next.

Mr. Anderson vs Bram

I like how Josh Matthews described Bram as the “human hate machine”. While Mr. Anderson is hardly a former TNA star (as far as I know, he is still on the active roster), Pope and Josh are lumping him with the rest because he is a veteran? That’s a bit vague, but okay, I’ll bite.

This is a powerhouse versus a powerhouse match. Bram may be younger, but I’m impressed that Mr. Anderson was more than capable of matching Bram for most of the match. Unfortunately, it was cut short with a chair shot by Bram, giving the win to Mr. Anderson via disqualification.

Bram doesn’t want to end there, though. He continued to destroy Mr. Anderson. Not contented with the chair, he intimidated a director into bringing Mr. Anderson’s mic down. Then he dragged Anderson down the ramp and repeatedly smashed the mic on Mr. Anderson’s head until it bled, all the while laughing maniacally. Creepy, and ouch!

Mr. Bram

I hope this will become a feud. Maybe Mr. Anderson will be the guy who will put an end to Bram’s reign of terror. But first, he needs to heal up that head wound, stat.

Jessie Godderz vs Robbie E in a Street Fight Match

We see Jessie Godderz pacing in the ring. Out runs an angry and determined Robbie E, who promptly turns on the offensive on Godderz. The match was fast, furious, and exciting. Trash cans, chairs, and a kendo stick went flying into the ring. Below-the-belt and hard hits were the order of the match. A particularly powerful hit of the kendo stick by Robbie E on Godderz’s sensitive parts was matched by Jessie poking his fingers into Robbie E’s nose until the said nose bled. The match ended when Jessie pinned Robbie with a chair, preventing him from escaping his modified boston crab hold. Robbie E passes out, and the ref gives the win to Jessie Godderz!

I wince every time I look at this picture

There’s nothing like an all-out brawl to give an exclamation point to the end of a faction. The Broman may be dead but if this match is any indication, we may be seeing a good rivalry out of its ashes. And it’s about time we see something deeper from these two shallow party dudes. Now, if only they can do something about their DJ too.

EC3 and Tyrus meet Bobby Lashley backstage, who says he wants a shot at his title too. No can do, says EC3, because you will take on my man Tyrus instead.

Let’s interrupt things for a while to talk about the continuation of Jeff Jarrett’s interview from last week. They were presented in two parts but since Jeff Jarrett talks a lot without really saying anything important, I will just combine these two segments, to get them out of the way.

Jeff Jarrett’s Interview (The Continuation)

Mike Tenay first asked about TNA and GFW’s future relationship. Jeff Jarrett said a lot of empty words: but from what I understand, he wants TNA to be one of promotions where Global Force Wrestling will have an alliance with. Tenay then asked about the King of the Mountain title: now that Jarrett has it, what are his plans for the title? Apparently, Jeff Jarrett plans to take the King of the Mountain title to GFW (I raised my eyebrows on that one.). In his words, GFW will be its new home. Ah well. The King of the Mountain is a minor title anyway. In my opinion, it’s not a big loss to TNA.

On to the last part of the interview. Tenay asked Jarrett about his thoughts on TNA and GFW, both professionally and personally. Jarrett said a lot of business-y gobbledygook, even mentioning Steve Jobs at one point. It’s all about having a trust factor and aligning goals, he says. I don’t know if he’s talking to the Impact Wrestling’s viewers, or to TNA’s board of directors.

Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett hugging it out 
Tenay then asked about what is Jeff Jarrett’s legacy in TNA. He said that his favorite matches were in the early days; with Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Mick Foley, Bobby Roode, Eric Young, James Storm, and the rest of the TNA Originals... and strangely enough, Don West. (Note that more than half of these people are gone from TNA.) If there’s one thing that is his legacy, he says, it’s how he had put together right team on multiple levels, creating a thriving competitive atmosphere.

So what did we get from these set of interviews on Jeff Jarrett? A lot of wasted minutes, and nothing at all. It’s TNA hard-selling us Jeff Jarrett’s presence in Impact Wrestling. We don’t know why though, they didn’t gave us anything concrete (except perhaps for that bit about the King of the Mountain title). The minutes spent on these interviews are put to better use for the card matches. Vague answers is quite simply, terrible booking.

So back to the card – and it’s time for EC3’s gauntlet match.

EC3 and Tyrus are in the ring, waiting for the first challenger for EC3’s title. As some sort of paying it forward, his first ever title defense is...

Ethan Carter III vs Norv Fernum for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Handshake. Kick. One Percenter. EC3 retains his title in less than a minute.

EC3's look says it all 
For his second match, as a tribute to Discovery Channel’s Shark Week (it is their mother network after all), EC3 presents to us…

Ethan Carter III vs Shark Boy for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Oh Shell Yeah! Stone Cold Shark Boy opened a can of whoop bass on a slightly rattled EC3. It’s a few seconds longer than the first one, but EC3 hits the One Percenter on Shark Boy, a pin, and a win!

Shark Boy 24:7 says I just whoop your bass

Sure, they were both squashes, but I really enjoyed them. They were so funny, and EC3 was delightfully wicked. I was looking forward for the third and final squash match, until Kurt Angle appeared on the ramp holding up a piece of paper. It’s apparently a contract, saying that he has the right to demand his rematch with EC3 anytime he wants to–and he wants it tonight. So for tonight’s main event, it’s Kurt Angle vs EC3 II!

On to the next match. It’s Bobby Lashley taking on EC3’s bodyguard, Tyrus.

Bobby Lashley vs Tyrus

The action goes back and forth between the two big men. Lashley lifts Tyrus on his shoulder for an electric chair slam! Let me repeat that: here’s a guy lifting a 400-pound person on his shoulders. Wow! If that is not a feat of strength, I don’t know what is. Still stunned from the slam, Tyrus gets nailed with a Spear from Lashey, then gets pinned for the three-count. Lashley wins!

Did you know that at 400 pounds, Tyrus weighs as much as a piano? Or a motorcycle?

While Tyrus was decent with some powerful suplexes of his own, Lashley did particularly well here. It was overall an average-to-good match. Not the best for the night, not the worst either.

Now for a brief peek at the Knockout Division.

Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky

Poor Madison Rayne and her jobber entrance. Velvet Sky comes into the ring, looking a lot like Avril Lavigne. Madison Rayne started badmouthing her: saying she doesn’t belong to the ring anymore, as well as some other hurtful things. Velvet Sky replies with a kick to the midsection. A few minutes later, Velvet Sky hits the Stunner on Rayne, then a pin, and Velvet Sky is the winner!

Oh boy, this card is full of just-okay matches, and this is one of them. Like the Lashley-Tyrus match before this one, there’s no emotional investment in it: not from the competitors, and definitely not from the audience.

Ethan Carter III vs Kurt Angle for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Even the commentators were infected with the apathy from the roster. For few first minutes of the match, Josh who was vehemently anti-EC3, while Pope was singing EC3’s praises. I guess a director noticed it and did a few corrective whispers in their headsets.

EC3 started the match by dodging Kurt Angle in and out of the ring. Kurt Angle finally manages to catch the champ, and slammed him with his trademark triple German suplexes. He then put EC3 in the Ankle Lock, who in turn. To escape, EC3 knocked out referee Brian Hebner. Another referee slides in (who conveniently didn’t see EC3 tapping out), and calls for the bell. He then declares that because Kurt Angle won the match by disqualification, the TNA World Heavyweight Champion is still EC3!
So wait: does this mean that EC3’s undefeated streak at 627 days was broken? Or are wins by DQ not counted?
Any questions about his streak were put aside as we saw Dixie Carter walking down the ramp to the ring. After wrangling the microphone from her grandstanding nephew, she made an apology of sorts for her actions the last time we saw her. She said that she had lied, manipulated, and had hurt the company and the fans. She also said that while she cannot change the past, she will make sure that her mistakes will not be repeated. Someone will take charge of TNA soon. It will not be her, but it sure will not be Ethan Carter III.

Mga pangaral ni Tita Dixie
It was a solid C show. The match between Jessie Godderz and Robbie E is more or less a B, but the rest are just average. The best parts of the night were those that have EC3 in them. I enjoyed the squashes, and I enjoyed his interjections on the commentary. The last one with Dixie Carter was a bit of a letdown, but I guess it is a necessary plot device to prepare us for rumoured upheavals in the coming weeks.

Did you see this week's Impact Wrestling? What did you think of the episode? Did you like how EC3-centric this episode is? Let us know in the comments!


Marie Ricana (@cris_ricana) is an IT specialist and a network/system administrator. While an engineer by profession, she dreams of becoming the next Roland Barthes or The Masked Man. One of these days, she’ll publish the most insightful book on pro wrestling in the Philippines. But for now, she is mostly writing reviews of TNA Impact Wrestling for Smark Henry.

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