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People Power (7/12/15): Your Five Favorite Character Props



Welcome to the latest edition of People Power, the only column in the universe powered entirely by the opinions of the Filipino wrestling fan population!

Here at the Smark Henry offices, we're huge fans of wrestlers with iconic props behind their character gimmicks—what would Ted Dibiase be without his Million Dollar Belt, for instance, or "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan without his trademark 2x4? And so a little while back, we asked you, our readers, to tell us what your five favorite character props of all time are.

We've counted down the votes, tabulated totals, so without further ado, here's how the results turned out.


*****

Honorable Mentions
There's one man who's pretty upset about not making it into the top five, and he's got a message for all of you smarks out there:

KABONG!

That's right, ol' Double J Jeff Jarrett (that's J-E-double-F J-A-double R-e-double T) and his world-famous guitar missed out, as did such legends as the aforementioned Million Dollar Man with his Million Dollar Belt, Al Snow with Head, and the fighting Irishman Finlay with his vicious shillelagh.

You know how we feel about things like this, you guys.


Shame indeed, and a pox upon you all.

But as usual, it's a killer lineup that made it to the top five, so it's hard to say which one could have been replaced by any of the options above.

Let's get to it.

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#5 (34%)

Your Olympic Hero Kurt Angle opens things up for us at the number five spot with his beautiful souvenir from the 1996 Summer Olympics, the gold medal he won for freestyle wrestling.


If there's ever been a character prop that so completely defined a gimmick, this is probably it. In an era defined by big talkers like "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and The Rock, Kurt Angle burst into the pro wrestling world with credentials that proved literally that he was the best wrestler in the entire world. 

Even in a rookie campaign that included reigns as European Champion, Intercontinental Champion, King of the Ring, and the WWE Championship, there was one piece of gold that shaped how we saw Kurt Angle: his Olympic gold medal, and nobody was taking that away from him.

It's true. It's damn true.

*****

#4 (36%)

Barely nosing out Kurt Angle's Olympic medal for the number four spot is Mrs. Foley's baby boy Mick Foley, and the sweaty, smelly, pungent tool he rode to the top of the professional wrestling industry, Mr. Socko.


Although initially introduced as a comedy prop during an infamous hospital skit between Foley and a recuperating Mr. McMahon, Mr. Socko has been an instrumental device to Mick's in-ring legend. 

Foley's mandible claw finisher had always been a feared move, paralyzing its victims by targeting the soft nerve cluster beneath their tongues, but when he reached deep—and we mean deep!—into his sweatpants to pull out the ratty old gym sock he would then sheathe his attack hand in, the maneuver gained a whole new level of notoriety. Who's kicking out from a gym sock jammed down one's throat, after all? Not his opponents, that's for sure. 

Have a nice day furrealz, guys. 

*****

#3 (47%)

Up next is perhaps the most unique and legendary animal props in all of wrestling, Jake "The Snake" Roberts' pet python, Damien.


Jake was never the strongest, most polished, or most skilled in the ring, but he dominated an arena through pure force of personality. The man was hypnotic, intense, and ever-so-slightly spooky. His massive python just complemented the character so well, and at times was his most powerful weapon, spooking such fearsome beasts as the 7-foot, 500-pound Andre the Giant out of the ring.

Sadly, Damien would come to a tragic end after getting vertical splashed by the 462-pound Earthquake in one of the most memorable mini-feuds in early-90s WWE. We're sure PETA would have something to say about this.


*****

#2 (61%)

The Undertaker's funeral urn is up next, and we have to say, this is a controversial choice for us—it's been a legendary part of his legendary career, and in an alternate universe, probably deserves to be number one on this list.


We've never had any problem believing in the near-supernatural powers of Taker throughout his Hall of Fame career, kayfabe be damned, and the urn has been perhaps the biggest source of his mystique, filling him with power in his darkest moments, reviving him from the brink of defeat, even resurrecting him from the point of death.

We've seen the urn melted down into a gold chain for Kama the Supreme Fighting Machine, opened to reveal the ashes of Taker's dead parents, or used as a bat-signal to summon the Dead Man and his creatures of the night, among other things. At this point, we're not quite sure what it really does in WWE canon, but that's alright. As long as the Undertaker has his urn—and maybe as long as he steers clear of Brock Lesnar—he will always reign supreme as the king of the wrestling underworld.

*****

#1 (68%)

This was a tough call, but with a single vote, Triple H and his notorious sledgehammer make it to the pinnacle of this week's People Power survey.


If Triple H is the King of Kings, then this hammer is his scepter. He's used it to dominate, decimate, and annihilate scores of victims throughout his legendary career. It's also the only character prop we know of with a YouTube playlist of over fifty videos devoted to its greatest hits, and a dedicated section on WWE.com.

The Hammer of Haitch has been more than an in-match weapon; it's the weapon used to figuratively finally end the legacy of WCW, having played a critical role in HHH's WrestleMania Play Button ultimate showdown with Sting.


The sledgehammer has a mythology all its own. A lot of other weapons have been used to win matches, championships, and feuds, but Triple H's sledgehammer is the only one that's been used to end the history of an entire company. That's a pretty awesome thing to be remembered for, and is the only reason we're not shutting down the Smark Henry offices in protest over the Undertaker's urn getting squeezed out for the top spot.

Also, it's the only character prop that looks even cooler with a suit than it does with wrestling gear.

We're also told it's not at all a phallic symbol.


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What do you think, fellow smarks? Steamed over ol' sledgie beating out the fabled urn for the top spot? Think that Sting and his baseball bat deserved a slot in the top five? Let us know in the comments below, and let's have a spirited game of bato bato pik over it.

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Mark De Joya (@MDJSuperstar) is an advertising professional and brand strategist by day, but dreams of being the Vince McMahon of the Philippines by night. He writes anything to do with numbers for Smark Henry: People Power, our weekly fan survey, and Best For Business, our regular financial report. With 18" arms and a 300-pound squat, he is also the official bouncer of the Smark Henry offices.

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