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#ThemeSongTuesday (7/14/15): The Five Best Alarm Clock Songs


Here at the Smark Henry offices, we like to provide some utility to our readers. So for this week's edition of #ThemeSongTuesday, we're listing the five best wrestling themes to load onto your iPhones for your morning wake-up alarm.

*****

5.
William Regal, "Real Man's Man" 

This is a great little ditty not just to wake you up with a smile on your face, but with boatloads of swagger and perhaps just a little bit more hair on your chest. When that manly baritone kicks in, you're Mr. Testosterone for the rest of the day.


We're told this theme is single-handedly responsible for more young boys hitting puberty than Sable in a bikini contest.

*****

4.
Billy Gunn, "Ass Man" 

I'M AN ASS MAN! 

(BAMP BAMP!)  

YEAH I'M AN ASS MAN!


We're unapologetic lovers of cheesy hair-rock over here at the Smark Henry offices, and Billy Gunn's theme is a perfect example of a song that's so bad, it's good. It's always nice to wake up to thoughts of rotund bottoms, and those faux-Sammy Hagar vocals are the absolutely appropriate way to deliver the thought. And if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya...

*****

3.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin, "Hell Frozen Over" 

When you hear the glass, that's your ass!


The Rattlesnake's theme song has perhaps the greatest drop in all of wrestling entrance themes, and busts you out of bed in no time with a metaphorical KICK WHAM to raise some hell, stomp some mudholes, and open up gallon jugs of whoop-ass the rest of the day. And that's the bottom line, cos Smark Henry says so!

*****

2.
John Cena, "My Time Is Now" 

Love him or hate him, there are few sounds sweeter to wake up to than the Doctor of Thuganomics' trademark BRRRRRRRRAPADOOOOOO! You may not be able to see him, but when the beat drops, you know THE CHAMP IS HERE.


Because hey, if this song was good enough to get Cena to 14 World Championships, it's good enough to get you through the morning.

*****

1.
Kurt Angle, "Medal" 

How do you wake up feeling like an Olympic champion, with intensity, integrity, and intelligence running through your veins? Get Kurt Angle's theme to blast you awake, that's how.



This song was perfectly orchestrated to be a morning alarm, we must say; those trumpets, the sense of victory, the subliminal "Gising! Gising!" that's sure to play through your head, they all add up to one hell of a gold medal kind of song. It's true, it's damn true!

*****

What do you think, fellow smarks? Got any better song ideas to set as your morning alarm? Leave us your suggestions below, and we'll get Buezzy the Smark Henry House Elf to give them a test drive over the weekend.

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