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#FinisherFriday (10/23/15): Five Pinoy Personalities Who Deserve A WWE-Style Ass-Whooping

Kumusta, Henrinitos?

Welcome to Smark Henry’s happy balance, the Filipino commentary on smash-mouth moves and finesse holds, and sometimes a social platform for boiler room dwellers, #FinisherFridays!

It’s mid-October and we are currently in the midst of WWE-like pandemonium here in the Philippines with matching quirky ambassadors from space and hell, dirty handed heels and villains, and the usual smack(henry)-worthy characters, all embroiled in a one-sided battle royale and uninspired segments. Well, it’s still better TV than the recent RAWs we’ve seen, but with all’s that been happening, our fellow Filipeeps can only shake their heads in annoyance.

No Daniel, you are not part of the list.
With that said, our wrestling buddy from the Smark Gilas-Pilipinas Facebook group came up with an interesting take on how to manage these frustrations and curb tempers by coming up with a question that piqued everyone’s interest. And when we say piqued, we also mean that it peaked and took over our Facebook feeds.

So from Pedigrees to entitled artists, Mr. Sockos to former presidents, heck, even Money Shots to #skinfairness goddesses, it was a great release for everyone.

Especially Mr. Money Shot.

Take out ref, insert ______
Now this also falls directly into the #FinisherFridays territory and we at Smark Henry would like to share some of the best comments. Trust us, it was difficult picking out the best, but we highlighted a few that are perfect for these hard times, daddeh! Here we go!



Honorable Mention: Randy Orton's RKO on Magellan

Not Filipino, but who wouldn’t want to smash the face of country’s very first heel, anyway?

5. The Dudley Boyz' 3D to John Apacible

Well, while everyone might not have agreed with the punishment meted to Mr. Councilor, all he really needs is wood. You know, the ones used for tables and what those dudes in jail show to good kids like him.

4. Seth Rollins' Curb Stomp on Kean Cipriano

While we don’t question some personal vendettas against other people, this is a pretty brutal way to get the message of “I don’t like you” across. Kean will definitely see stars, and some broken teeth for sure.

3. Chris Jericho's Liontamer on Joey De Leon

The country’s infamous wordsmith should have seen this coming. He should curb his words more, unless he wants his poet-ry to be handed to him.

2. Kevin Owens' Pop-Up Powerbomb on Vice Ganda

Right, we get it. You’re influential. You're everywhere. But if there's one place we'd rather see you, is you slammed on your back. On the ring apron. With exposed steel. And maybe some tacks, since you are after all, tactless. I'd give a score of 8 for that.

1. Gail Kim's Eat Defeat to Kris Aquino

Now that would garner more brand sales and TV ratings than Kris ever aspired for. Need we say more?


Of course, this is but the tip of the iceberg as the list goes on and on! We would love to listen to some of your own versions of shutting up people. Let us know in the comments below and who knows, it might be included in a Part 2. ;)



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