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Dynamite Kid & Davey Boy: Wrestling's Worst Bullies?

For a tag team known as one of the more beloved babyface pairings in the 1980s, The British Bulldogs, apparently were one of the wildest pranksters on the wrestling scene back in the wild ol' days. If promising talents like Brad Maddox can get fired today over using the word "prick" on a house show promo, these dudes would have lost their jobs a million times over.

Our good buddies over at Wreddit shared some stories over some of the more notorious ribs that went down in the then-WWF during the early 1980s thanks to them, and we gotta tell you, this is some seriously messed-up shit.

[WARNING: The language up ahead is salty enough to make a sailor blush.]

For instance, there was that one time that Jake "The Snack" Roberts happened to walk into the locker room, and spotted the Bulldogs getting Damien, his python, riled up. As narrated to "Rowdy" Roddy Piper earlier this year during a podcast guesting on the Rowdy One's podcast, Piper's Pit:

What happened was I walked into the locker room one night and caught Davey Boy, who did not smoke, getting lit cigarettes from Dynamite and throwing them inside the snake bag. So the snake would be pissed off and bite me. Real funny!

For someone who made his living by draping a 12-foot python around his neck (and occasionally, over the bodies of foes he's knocked out cold with his legendary DDT), pranks like this don't go down lightly. 

But that's not all. You may remember a fellow named Outback Jack, a mild-mannered Australian dude brought into the company to capitalize on the Crocodile Dundee craze that was sweeping the nation at the time.

While he never quite hit the main event scene (although he does go down in history as the first man to ever get a hundred dollar bill stuffed down his mouth by "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase), he does have a main event-quality pair of ribs played on him by the Bulldogs.

As Roberts recalls:

Alright, so Outback Jack, he kind of asked for it. He was like, 'I can fucking out drink any Englishman under the table!' 
So here they go to the bar. Then, of course, he turned his head. Shouldn't do that! Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a release it is! Halcions. 
The next thing, they're in the room, [Outback Jack's] buck-naked, he thinks he's talking to his girlfriend in Australia and he's actually masturbating talking to Stu Hart!

The story doesn't end there though.

And then they told him that his food was ready at the restaurant downstairs and he just walked down there buck-ass naked! He didn't fucking know he didn't have no clothes on! Yeah, that wasn't good. They were nice, though. They didn't take him to jail. They brought him back to his room. 
The next morning they found his crocodile head in the parking lot. Davey Boy had cut it off the back of his jacket. You know, why do you do that?

These pranks apparently made Matilda, the Bulldogs' trademark English bulldog, a favorite target for revenge. Recounts Piper:

So I'm with [Don] Muraco and I'm going, 'What are you doing?' And he goes, 'Come here, come here. Watch the door.' And he would sneak Jimmy Hart's bullhorn. And he'd say, 'Watch the door!' So I'm in there with Matilda and Muraco and I'm holding the door and he would pull it to make it so the sound would go, 'EEEEEEEEEEEEE!' Every night for about two weeks. 
Now, you know there's something wrong when you're in the ring with all the boys and there's Jimmy Hart. That dog comes in with its belly, like you said, dragging on the ground, and she sees that megaphone and sees him and... BITE!! Jimmy Hart spent the next six months trying to save his life!

But leave it to Jake the Snake to get the best piece of revenge.

So I said, 'Okay, motherfuckers.' A couple nights later, and I'm not the type of guy that would do revenge, but I did see a hungry dog! You know those hot dogs at a wrestling show? Not the best thing to feed an animal. Especially seven or eight of them with chili! It looked like chocolate to me, but it may have been Ex-Lax! I loaded that motherfucker up. 
And then I timed this shit. They took it back to the hotel and the dog was moaning like, 'wooo-oo wooo-oo.' She wanted to go outside, man! Do you think they wanted to take her outside? 'Fuck that fucking dog!' They're going to the bar! I go over to the room and I go knock-knock-knock and I hear the dog go, 'ARR-ARR!! [splat]' I hear her spray that shit. And I let her calm down. 'ARR-ARR! [splat]' Then I go back to the door and hammer on it again. 'ARR-ARR-ARR! [splat] ooo-ooo-oooo-oooooo.' She's coating the whole room with shit! 
I mean I'm outside the door holding in laughter. I heard them come in about 2 o' clock. [In Davey Boy's voice] 'Fookin' motherfookin' dog, you fookin' piece of shit!' 
She had shit all over the fucking beds. They had no idea.

Whew. We're glad that professional wrestling these days is a little bit more, well, professional, isolated urban legends of Randy Orton taking a crap in a Diva's gym bag aside.

Got any other good ribs you can remind us about? Drop us a quick line in the comments below, young Henrinites!


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