Skip to main content

Heavy Impact (4/21/16): The Panic Room



On this week's episode of Impact Wrestling, the Hardys kick each other's asses for the nth time (in an I Quit Match this time around), the Knockouts fight for the control of their division (whatever that means), the X Division Championship gets defended for the first time in a while, and Decay goes through a convoluted hostage plan for a shot at the tag titles.

The half-bakery


My biggest problem with this episode lies with the current Knockout division angle with Maria at the center. You see, TNA is in a lot of money trouble, with an outside investor keeping this particular set (and most likely the next) of tapings afloat, and that might mean that until they've stabilized any set of tapings could very well be their last. It seems as though they're rushing a lot of angles' progressions just so everything could have its proper closure. That's a mistake. I would rather have a promising angle cut short by outside circumstances than to have it complete but half-baked.



This Maria angle is really rushed. First, three weeks ago, Maria broke up the Dollhouse so she can align with Jade and give her the Knockouts Championship by way of her own shot. You'd think that they'd be the new power team in the division for a while—because the wording of her offer implied that she'd groom Jade and be a star—but in last week's episode, she demands that Jade give her the title because of this reason. Okay, that might be believable behavior for a conniving heel, but they haven't spent that much time together prior to Jade's championship win for this turn of events to be more compelling than it is now.

And what's this angle about the champion getting control of the division? What does "control" even mean in this context? Matchmaking? Contendership? The title soon doesn't matter in this scenario, because Billy Corgan makes a ladder match for said control involving all of the Knockouts, including Jade. Maria wins a painfully short ladder match (clocking in at five minutes), but this concept still doesn't get explained. What the hell is Maria allowed to do now? How will she control the Knockouts? Can they make them wrestle 10 minutes on average every night?

TNA spends so much time writing these ridiculous stories and not enough time showcasing the wrestling they're soooo proud of. Maybe, just maybe, focusing on these things might help you get the ratings you need to stay on a channel?

Minor impacts


  • Mahabali Shera vs. Al Snow was such a heatless match. The story itself is interesting, but if you're going to do a Grado vs. Rest of the Wrestling World storyline, you need Grado. He's the only guy who can bring real heat to the program. The rest are his supporting cast.
  • The entire Decay angle was so stupid, especially when Bobby Roode said all they had to do was ask. All they had to do was ask. Beer Money is not a tag team that backs down from challenges. Why would you need to hold something hostage to get them to agree to a match? Decay just looked completely silly for having to go through all that trouble, and the entire time they had Gail they never sold themselves as being fearsome threats.
  • So glad the X Division is starting back up. The pool is small at only four guys, but four is better than two. You have a lot of time on your broadcasts, TNA. Make this your cornerstone.
  • I love Tyrus, man, and he can talk, but he really needs to work on his ring presence. Whenever he's in there and trying to assert himself, I just can't buy him as the legit heater of the Matt Hardy Brand.
  • Speaking of the Hardys, I had little interest in their main event because I knew it was going to be another setup for another Jeff high spot. It's an I Quit Match, and it was hardly ever wrestled that way, with a long period of time in between questions that you forgot someone was supposed to say he quits. If they were building to Jeff's second floor swanton and Matt getting stretchered out of the Impact Zone, then why not have it be Last Man Standing instead?

Photo from Imgur

*****

Romeo Moran (@roiswaris the Editor in Chief of Smark Henry and one of the three hosts of the Smark Gilas-Pilipinas Podcast. He gets by in this hard knock life through working in publishing. Smark Henry was his and Stan Sy's original vision of a watering hole for local wrestling fans. He roots for the undersized guys who hit hard, but really hates Davey Richards with his entire soul.

Trending This Week

The Smark Henry RAW Report (9/19/17): WANTED: Part-Timers

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan (1943-2017)

The Smark Henry Hip Toast: Gigz Stryker

The Smark Henry Mae Young Classic Review: The Finals

SmackDown RunDown Live (9/20/17): Just Another Jinder Mahal Rant