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If WWE Was Game of Thrones, Part 3


We cap off the last day of our WWE Game of Thrones series (because the new season drops tomorrow) with a look at House Baratheon and a few other supporting characters! If you missed the previous two installments, the Lannisters, Targaryens, and Starks are over here!



CM Punk as Robert Baratheon


All right, here’s a doozy. Bear with us on this one: Robert was a strong, conquering leader in his youth who won the crown fighting, but as he became king and there were no more wars to fight, and no more passion because the love of his life had died and no amount of fighting could bring her back, he became bored and disillusioned with life. Punk was the same way, coming into the WWE with a lot of zeal and passion for pro wrestling, but eventually growing very discouraged with the business. He wasn’t assassinated the way Robert was, but in Punk’s eyes, it might as well have been an assassination the way nobody wanted to pay him the respect he feels he deserved. (Also, they both have bitchin’ beards.)



Randy Orton as Stannis Baratheon


Cold, emotionless, and all about what he wants. He may be good, but he won’t be warm about it; if he seems evil, he’s really only acting according to what he feels is right. To him.




Dean Ambrose as Renly Baratheon


Crazy to think that he actually had a shot at the throne when he hadn’t had much of a right to. Dean could have a shot if he fought hard enough, but everyone else competing is better than him.



Seth Rollins as Joffrey Baratheon


You don’t need me to explain this to you!



Tyler Breeze as Loras Tyrell


Pretty and a competent knight, but that wasn’t enough to get him over. Still alive, but barely, and totally unsure as to whether he’ll ever make it as a strong player.



John Laurinaitis as Varys


Ballsless yes-man to the real power who isn’t incompetent by any means, but is pretty shady and not well-liked. Has his own machinations that may or may not work out for him.



Paul Heyman as Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish


The man with the silver tongue, trying to play the Game of Thrones as best as he can. Was/is a lord of a small domain, also became someone of importance in the kingdom. He knows he’s better off using someone else to win the throne, so he prefers to get behind people with more legitimate claims to it.



Undertaker as Sandor Clegane


Now, most people would probably slot Kane in as the Hound considering he’s more puppy-like than his brother (even though he had an entire gimmick dedicated to his transformation into a hugger, and he's even burned and everything) but we shouldn’t forget that Kane was waaaay more destructive, and Undertaker was waaaay more fully-fleshed as a human character. Although they can be switched around by isolating certain parts of their careers and stories.



Kane as Gregor Clegane


Destructive and utterly heartless in his prime. Destroyed and been remade into a worse monster than before.

*****

And that's it for our three-part series! What do you think? Do you agree with the placement of the Clegane brothers? Or the Baratheons? Are you excited for the premiere tomorrow? Let's talk about it!

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