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#ThemeSongTuesday (4/12/16): WEEEEEE-WOOOOOO-WEEEEEE-WOOOOOO



Last week’s RAW after ‘Mania packed enough debuts to fully book a hotel function room for a few summers. The only return came about right before the main event: a Fatal 4-Way match between Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Chris Jericho, and A.J. Styles to determine the #1 contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Unfortunately for Zayn, Owens decided to remove him from the match altogether with a vicious backstage attack prior. Fortunately for us, he was replaced with a man we’re all too familiar with and have missed for quite some time…


*cue sirens*
Source: WWE
FUCK YEAH. I mean, no. Wait, YEAH! This is confusing. This week on #ThemeSongTuesday, we’re discussing the confusing trainwreck of a theme for the Swiss Superman, Cesaro.



This wouldn’t be the first time we’ve discussed the CFO$-composed “Swiss Made”, and it probably won’t be the last. The widely negative reception to such a beloved wrestler's theme has always made it a bit of an enigma to me. Cesaro’s insane popularity with the crowd literally negates the lackluster theme he’s given, causing the crowd to pop whenever the ambulance sirens start blaring throughout the arena. When analyzed separately, the opening ambulance siren becomes headache inducing, and is more than enough for anyone to hit next before the randomly aggressive guitar riffs come in. Well, except for these folks:


CesaroThemeFans.png


The headbanging and pure heavy metal continue well into the track, only taking a few breaks to throw more ambulance sirens and digital distortion out there, shades of Slipknot’s “Spit It Out” bleeding into the whole song. Hell, two minutes into “Swiss Made” and it’s pretty much the same song with Corey Taylor’s vocals replaced with ambulance sirens.

SlipknotSiren.png


Cesaro is a technical expert and a dominating powerhouse. He’s fun to watch, and the theme song he walks out to must be heard the same way he’s seen in the ring. What we get instead is a composition more fit for Bray Wyatt on six cans of Red Bull and meth.


The RAW after ‘Mania was the perfect opportunity to give Cesaro a new, proper theme. If not a new one, how about going back to his debut theme “Miracle”?




Jim Johnston lends a hand in composing this remix of Dean Malenko’s theme “Ice Man”. While it does carry a certain vibe that would’ve sounded so slick with Cesaro’s return, there are only so many tear-away suits he can rip and shades to keep on. Fuck, give him Neville’s theme for all I care.


Still, we got the ambulance siren and just as expected, everyone was too happy to have him back to care. Admittedly, so was I.




Are you happy with Cesaro’s current theme? Don’t forget to share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

*****

When he isn't writing Smark Henry's #ThemeSongTuesday column, Lorenzo Magnaye hosts the #HomeRun on 99.5 PlayFM. It's a good thing, too, since his childhood consisted mostly of watching professional wrestling and listening to his parents on the radio. He's only recently rekindled his love for the WWE, and has been trying to make up for missing out on everything post-WrestleMania XX by praying to Seth Rollins thrice a day. Follow him on Twitter: @RenzoSaurus!

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