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SmackDown RunDown Live (5/13/17): Who Needs Hyping, Anyway?


Cuff him, 'Dango! My name is SmackDown RunDown Live and welcome to another edition of #NitPickRick. That intro is an accurate representation of my mood towards this week’s episode. Let’s get down to it before I fall asleep of boredom.

Money in the Bank Round-Up: On Uneventful 6-Man Tags


SmackDown Live set the stage for Money in the Bank this week with a 6-man tag main event, a perfected formula from the great mind of good ol’ Teddy Long. I guess they want everyone to brawl and get their finishers in for the final sequence of the night, but that didn’t happen either. It was just a regular match that didn’t really offer anything. Ladders were suddenly introduced, then Shinsuke Nakamura was suddenly grabbing the briefcase, then fade to black. I’m not going to waste another paragraph just talking about this one. Nakamura stood tall in the end so we know he won’t win the damn thing. Man, there should’ve been a better way to send us home. Styles vs Ziggler III, anyone? Kevin Owens actually putting his title on the line? I did like the Styles-Nakamura-Zayn promo, though. Styles and Nakamura talking like old drinking mates and Zayn with his usual high-school nerd persona make up an interesting combo.


Explain this to me: how did they book Naomi vs Tamina from out of nowhere when they made a sensible booking in Charlotte vs Natalya later in the evening? Charlotte vs Natalya made sense because of the infamous powerbomb that started this whole idea of a female MITB match and it was a good match overall, but what about Naomi vs Tamina? Why can’t they just book Naomi vs Carmella to push Carmella’s claim for a title shot further? We can still have the Lana interruption by letting Carmella pin the champion again, right? I just really think everyone in the back got lazy in putting stories together. On the bright side, the women were not clumped to a tag match of some sort. That’s fine by me. On a side note, Lana's finisher is tight, tight, tight, tight. *snorts meth*

Some Blue Brand Vibes and Blues—Live!

Blue: I think what ticked me off this week was the god-awful promo from the tag teams that kicked off the show. The scripts were tired and boring, the execution of the entire segment was sloppy, and they closed it shut with a “New Day rocks” chant? The whole thing didn’t make any sense and the following tag match didn’t make it better. Despite the awesome promos in the past, the Usos weren’t really built enough to pose a threat to the New Day and it would be a shame to see them lose the SmackDown Tag Team Championships on Monday (Manila Time). That flying stomp from Xavier Woods was phenomenal, though. I guess these multi-man tag matches have their bright sides after all.

Vibe: Finally! What the hell took Randy Orton so long to hit an RKO to that Maharaja guy during or after a promo? Do you even realize how many opportunities Orton wasted? At last, an Orton-Mahal segment that ended the right way! Now I’m hyped for Orton to win back his title at MITB! It’s time to pull the plug on this little experiment and start from scratch because no one wants to admit it, but Mahal’s gimmick got stale real quick. I’d take a boring Orton title run over an overly rushed Jinder push any day. Strip the WWE Championship off him and let the guy go over the right way. I’d take him more seriously if he can finally speak in public audibly.

Vibe: Speaking of failed experiments, can we also say that Mojo Rawley’s solo run failed? I’d say no, but it wasn’t a huge success, either. The guy was right, he became a ghost after winning the ATGMBR match at WrestleMania Carousel, and it must have hurt him a lot when the guy he’s feuding with was strapped with a rocket on his way to the main event scene. So yeah, I think it’s a good thing Zack Ryder is back. They do have some unfinished business with the SmackDown Tag Team Championships and this Hype Bros reunion will give Mojo some time to refresh his character a bit. The future's still bright for our resident hype master.

SMACKDOWN RUNDOWN: Compare this week’s build from last week and you’ll notice a slight difference: Creative actually gave a damn about making a solid show. I just remembered that this was supposed to be a freakin’ go-home show so my rant-meter went crazy. But then I thought, MITB doesn’t need more hyping, does it? The card is already stacked and everything’s been set up nicely. So I guess producing one bad show wouldn’t hurt? On the other hand, some storylines weren’t properly fleshed out (looking at you, Usos) and they could’ve used this opportunity to iron things out. In the end, they tried to make this episode a fun one but really, if you haven’t seen the show, you didn’t miss a damn thing. I’ll have to give this one a C. Thanks for making it easy for me, SmackDown Live.

Did you enjoy this week’s SmackDown Live? Are you hyped for Money in the Bank despite a lacking go-home show? Drop me a sick beat down at the comments.

*****


Ricky Jay Publico (@NitPickRick) is a wrestling fan who enjoys watching high flyers and brawlers battle it out in the ring. A known Botchamania binge-watcher, he claims to have memorized the chronological order of Royal Rumble winners, but fails to remember who won in 2004. He writes stories about life and nonsense.

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