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The Smark Henry SummerSlam 2017 Predictions: Fully Booked

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Hey there, rasslin’ fans! We’re just two days away from the biggest show of the summer so before we head down to Skinny Mike’s, how about some predictions from your resident weekly reviewers, the lovely Nicole from RAW and your boy Ricky from SmackDown Live!


Nicole: Alright, alright, people, here are your goddamn predictions! I mean, they’re not even good; I always lose bets… But since y’all keep bugging me, here you go.

And hey! I want a nickname, too, #NitPickRick! Ok, after a few minutes of thinking, I realize I’m not as creative. So I’ll simply go for #FearlessNikki.

Ricky: Hey Nicole! Cool nickname, I guess. Let’s get this thing going because man, we have a lot to cover, like, a LOT.


Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Universal Championship: Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar (c)



#FearlessNikki: My non-existing money is on Brock Lesnar! Screw the odds and screw the UFC rumors; it’s bait to lure everybody into thinking we’re getting a new champion. Fools.

#NitPickRick: I’m picking Samoa Joe, just because I’m a big fan of him ever since his TNA days. Not just that, I believe he can be a great champion for the Red Brand. I might even consider tuning in to RAW just because he’s the new champ. Brock Lesnar will probably leave *wink wink* and Reigns, well, he’s going to win at next year’s WrestleMania anyway, so it’s either Braun or Joe, and my pick is the latter.

WWE Championship Match
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal (c)



#NitPickRick: Can you feel the hype for this match? If I was a casual, I probably won’t care about this match. This is supposed to be SmackDown Live’s top storyline, people! Make us feel like it’s worth a damn! Despite the lack of effort in building up this encounter, I think I’d still enjoy seeing Shinsuke Nakamura beating the crap out of Jinder Mahal in a very physical and stiff match. I wish they would let Nakamura be more of himself inside the ring. Jinder looks like a tough dude anyway; he can take a few stiff shots. Jinder Mahal will retain, but expect Nakamura to continue chasing the title in the coming months.

#FearlessNikki: You know, I was really hoping for Jinder to go against John Cena. But I guess this is cool, too. Jinder Mahal has yet to show up in India as champ… And with all the help he has, he will retain!

United States Championship Match w/ Shane McMahon as guest referee
Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles (c)



#NitPickRick: This match has drama written all over it. The build was a bit cheesy but hey, if it ain’t broke... Creative did a great job adding Shane McMahon into the mix without forcing his presence into the narrative. Considering how this was just a quick fix for their messy title match finish back at Battleground, they really did a great job transforming it into a more compelling storyline. Aside from seeing the reign of AJ Styles continue, I’m excited to see how this match will ignite the Owens/Shane rivalry. Team Shane vs Team Owens for Survivor Series, anyone?

#FearlessNikki: Look, I don’t really know. It’s one of those matches where literally anything can happen and I smell a huge swerve coming; that’s what happens when you have a guest referee, right? But since we all know AJ vs. Shane’s been done, Shane probably won’t screw AJ here. However, I do feel like Owens is going to ruin Shane enough that they’ll need a new referee to come in, and then Kevin Owens wins the US title back. I know, I know. But the key word here is drama.

RAW Women’s Championship Match
Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss (c)



#FearlessNikki: Sigh, boring. This match doesn’t really mean anything; Sasha’s just a last-minute replacement for Bayley. Both Bayley and Sasha’s beef with Alexa makes me want to yawn either way, anyway. I’m not a huge fan of Alexa Bliss as champion, either, so I’m gonna go for Sasha Banks.

#NitPickRick: I feel like RAW isn’t doing enough to highlight other women on their roster. Case in point, what’s wrong with either Emma, Mickie James, or Dana Brooke challenging for the top title? I love me some Sasha Banks, but let’s give other women a chance, you know? Anyway, I expect Alexa Bliss to win because they’re going to stretch this rivalry out for sure. After all, Sasha is indeed just a replacement for Bayley. 

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match
Natalya vs. Naomi (c)



#NitPickRick: This can only be described as Carmella’s Coronation Day, but I still want to see Naomi and Natalya in action. They can probably have a hard-fought bout just to tire each other out, allowing Carmella to swoop in to beat whomever wins the match and take her SmackDown Women’s Championship. We already lost a cash-in to Corbin, so let’s hope Carmella doesn’t disappoint us. She can use James Ellsworth for whatever plan she has; I just want her cash-in to be a successful one. Then she can have an awesome feud with Naomi for the next three months or so. Sounds good to me.

#FearlessNikki:
Eh, I don’t think there’ll be a cash-in here. Just because Corbin did it last week, doesn’t mean Carmella will right away, too! I’m hearing everyone is expecting a cash-in, so WWE isn’t going to give it to you because it’s too predictable! And yo, the Bellas are in town. You never know. #Fearless... Yeah, ok, I doubt it too. Anyway, I actually think it’s Natalya’s time!

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin



#NitPickRick:
This rivalry needlessly got personal very quickly.


After this week’s failed cash-in, it’s intriguing how this match will unfold. I want Baron Corbin to win this one and win it hard. The match should also be as physical as possible. They could even change it into a stipulation match just to accommodate the rage of Corbin. They really need to bring his heat back because right now, he’s just the dumb jock who wasted his opportunity. Let’s just hope they give Corbin another chance at making it big. Or not, I heard they hate the guy backstage as much as they hate Enzo Amore.

#FearlessNikki:
REDEMPTION!!! I agree with Ricky—give this to Baron Corbin, please.

Bray Wyatt vs. (Demon King?) Finn Bálor



#FearlessNikki: Isn’t it pretty obvious? You have the match on RAW with normal/jacket Finn losing, then you provoke him into coming out as Demon Finn this time. Like, uh oh. Bray Wyatt’s going to get it! So yes, Finn Bálor. Unless… WWE f*cks us over, because they can.

#NitPickRick: I’m also picking Finn Bálor, just because of the demon entrance. *raises hands in the air*

Randy Orton vs. Rusev



#NitPickRick: This one’s tricky. On one hand, there’s the Viper who failed to regain his world title for three months and is now looking to get his groove back. On the other, there’s the Bulgarian man who lost a hockey flag match and is now looking to gain back the momentum he lost since he was the unbeatable brute way back in 2015. Both guys are looking for redemption, so who do we pick? No doubt it’s going to be a fun match, but I’ll pick Rusev for this one. He just lost a lot more momentum compared to the always popular Orton. Let’s just give RuRu a victory and maybe they can continue feuding until Survivor Series.

#FearlessNikki:
Totally agree with Ricky—this is pretty complicated. They both came out short in their last feuds, and just decided to feud with each other for whatever reason. My heart wants Randy Orton to win, but I’ll give this to Rusev. The feud is probably going to last a while, anyway, and Orton will probably win the entire feud to take back all the past losses—which he can afford, because, well, he’s Randy Orton.

RAW Tag Team Championship Match
Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus and Cesaro (c)



#FearlessNikki:
Ok, I’m internally screaming. I’m going to follow my heart completely and say that ma man Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose will become your new RAW Tag Team Champions! They’re both finally on the same page completely after weeks of suspense and drama which they will take full advantage of, as opposed to their opponents who kept bickering even at the beginning of their success. Ambrose and Rollins are not going to be permanent tag partners anyway—and if they’re ever going to have a real tag team run, it’ll be with them as champions. They’ve been feuding with Sheamus and Cesaro for a while, and that’s been their lengthy chase already. Now, it’s time to win it and finally dominate! Brotherhood triumphs!

#NitPickRick: Who doesn’t love a mini-reunion? Just like the Styles/Owens/Shane saga, this storyline borrowed elements from various rom-coms to tell a great story of trust and friendship. Sure, Sheamus and Cesaro will still retain their tag titles (sorry, Nicole, I know you love yourself some Seth Rollins), but there’s no doubt a brand new tag team is ready to make an impact in RAW’s tag team division.

#FearlessNikki: Boo!

Big Show vs. Big Cass; Enzo Amore will be suspended above in a shark cage



#FearlessNikki: Uhm… Would you excuse me for a minute, as I’m trying to get myself to care about this match enough to give an actual prediction… Ok, done. Enzo’s in a shark cage and Big Show’s hand is kayfabe broken so I’ll give this to Big Cass.

#NitPickRick: What am I supposed to feel about this match? Why is Enzo Amore inside a freaking shark cage? If anything, this is obviously a rib or some sort of punishment for his heat backstage. If this is all they can give both men, let’s just reunite Enzo and Cass and make them interesting again. Also, Big Show’s probably going to win this one.

Kickoff Match:
SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match
The Usos (day one ish!) vs. New Day (c) (Big E and Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston)



#NitPickRick: Remember that awesome tag team match that saved the last shit-show of a PPV that was Battleground? We moved it to the Kickoff Show because f*ck you, that’s why! Seriously, why can’t we just move the Big Show vs. Big Cass match to the Kickoff show instead? This match is way better—it’s properly built, it’s an exciting match, their story makes sense—everything checks out! Someone in the back please, please put this match on the main card. Anyway, I pick New Day to retain because giving the Usos (day one ish!) the titles back doesn’t really make sense if they’re not going to go all in on our resident penitentiary members.

#FearlessNikki: Ricky, why do you keep writing “(day one ish!)” after the Usos? *giggles* Anyway, I love both teams so, so much, so I expect a really entertaining match. These guys are all good friends in real life and I know they’re capable of making magic. I wish this wasn’t on the pre-show, either. But yeah, I mean, I agree—I think New Day retains here!

#NitPickRick: Because they’re the Usos! Day One Ish! *sick rap beat* It’s mandatory now.

Kickoff Match:
Cruiserweight Championship Match
Neville vs. Akira Tozawa (c)



#FearlessNikki:
Well… We had the match on RAW one week before SummerSlam and had an unexpected title change. It would be really sad if Akira Tozawa loses it a week later, so I think he retains here.

#PickleRick:
I also think Akira Tozawa will retain his title and continue to represent the Titus Brand. Although I have to say, I’m digging the Mad King look from Neville. We need to separate him from the Cruiserweight Championship on a regular basis so we can witness how far his madness can go.

#FearlessNikki: Hah! Pickle Rick.

Kickoff Match:
The Hardyz and Jason Jordan vs. Intercontinental Champion The Miz, Curtis Axel, and Bo Dallas



#FearlessNikki: Hmm… This storyline is so boring and nothing really happened with it so I can’t tell for sure. I guess I’ll go for The Hardy Boyz and Jason Jordan because the latter is in super-extreme-babyface mode right now—yes, despite the boos. Because everyone knows that the WWE is somehow immune those and will do whatever they want, anyway.

#NitPickRick: It’s a shame The Miz got relegated to the pre-show considering he’s the Intercontinental Champion. They should’ve just booked him in a title match against Kurt Angle’s son Jason Jordan. I know Jordan’s not really clicking with the crowd, but they can at least twist this story and let Jordan be a spoiled brat asking his daddy for countless opportunities. That will probably boost his stock a bit. So yeah, I’m picking Miz and the Miztourage to win this one. Hopefully, they can land a better spot at the next PPV.

*****

How about you, ka-smarkada? Who are your picks for this year’s SummerSlam? Do you agree or disagree with our resident buffoons, er, esteemed weekly reviewers? Sound off at the comments below and hey, see you on Monday at Skinny Mike’s!


Photos by WWE

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