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The Smark Henry RAW Report (12/11/17): Kane We Stop It With The Rematches, Please?

The last two weeks have been so incredibly dragging, that tuning into RAW doesn’t get me excited at all anymore and starts to feel like a chore instead. The show continues to lack star power, and the matches—albeit good—seem to be composed of recycled opponents and predictable mixing and matching.



With that said, the main event of the episode wasn’t something I was particularly excited about since we’ve seen it a billion times before, but adding the stipulation that entitles the winner to face Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship at the Royal Rumble got me a little intrigued. However, why the random opportunity for these guys? I don’t think either of them have the intention of actually winning the match—just complete and utter annihilation is all they care about. So what’s in it for these two monsters, ultimately?

And as predicted, nobody actually won the match as it ended in a double count-out. Joy. This means we might get another Braun vs. Kane next week on RAW, or, the match at Royal Rumble becomes a Triple Threat match.

My question is, WHERE IS TRIPLE H? It’s like he just disappeared and now we’ve been set to forget all about his feud with Braun. I’d assume at this point that Braun will get to face Lesnar, again, for the Universal Championship at the Royal Rumble, and The Game might screw the former to continue where they left off and spread it all the way until WrestleMania. If I am right, I just want to say what a disappointing use of Brock Lesnar. The guy barely shows up, and when he does, it’s to be used to hype up another feud. Well.



Last week, I expected The Shield to be in a 6-man tag match against Samoa Joe, Sheamus and Cesaro on this episode—but I was wrong! All three of the Hounds of Justice competed in singles matches. All three of these matches were worth watching, but if you asked me, Roman Reigns vs. Cesaro for the Intercontinental Championship is the match to watch—it had me screaming across my bedroom and I’m surprised my neighbors haven’t filed any complaints yet.

Honestly, despite the overdone and predictable bookings, these group of guys can still give you really kick-ass and entertaining matches that would make you want to chant “This is awesome!” Dean Ambrose vs. Samoa Joe, however, was a first—did you not catch that after the 500th mention on commentary? Because I honestly only retained it after the 501st—and it surely didn’t disappoint!



Speaking of matches that didn’t disappoint, kudos to the Cruiserweight division for putting on, yet again, a super fun and exciting match to watch. After the arrest of Rich Swann—who I actually believed had the upper-hand over Drew Gulak for this week’s supposed singles match—WWE was forced to book a “Second Chance” Fatal 4-Way to determine Gulak’s opponent for next week. I wasn’t complaining—these matches actually get me hooked and I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but they’ve been one of RAW’s best parts lately.



Paige and Mandy Rose won their tag match against Mickie James and Bayley. But eventually, and FINALLY, the girls came together and retaliated over Absolution. It’s important to note that these weren’t just the good girls allying, but literally everyone, heel or face, who isn’t part of the group. Absolution was finally threatened as they’ve now become outnumbered against the rest of the RAW women’s locker room. That’s right, girls! It’s time to take a stand against these bullies!

Seriously though, Paige is now the top heel of the women’s division and I guess this whole thing has done her some good somehow. She’s always been great at being mean and aggressive, so this role fits her like a glove.

Overall, if it wasn’t for the in-ring talent these Superstars have to keep us all hooked to our screens, this episode would’ve completely sucked. We’re moving slower than a snail on our way to the Royal Rumble, and no feud has proven itself to be that worth watching on the PPV yet. I hope they pick up the pace soon, because I’m not even remotely excited for the next PPV. Let’s move it, RAW! This episode gets a D. Yawn...


Quick Hitters:
  • I AM LOVING THIS NEW JASON JORDAN, THOUGH! He gets more savage and entitled by the week and it’s so emotionally fulfilling to see him slowly gather the audience’s interest. Yes, watch him turn into a beautiful, blossoming little butterfly that he is! 
  • Yo, Nia Jax and Enzo Amore’s love storyline is so gross, it’s so good. It makes me cover my eyes with my hands but not entirely because I still want to know what’s going to happen next. Can’t… Stop… Watching... 
  • The Woken segment with Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt’s promos interlacing with each other was very similar from last week’s, only longer and weirder. If I understood correctly, Sister Abigail has some history with #WOKEN Matt Hardy. Honestly, the entire thing is a good “try not to laugh” challenge. It’s hard. Try it! 
  • It’s so sad how Finn B├ílor’s match was my bathroom break. After his entrance, of course. 

Photos by WWE

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