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"Survivor" Series: Don't Be Stupid, Stupid


Welcome to "Survivor" Series, our weekly column focusing on the adventures of one John Hennigan, a.k.a. Johnny Mundo, Johnny Impact, John Morrison, Johnny Nitro, on the islands of Fiji as a castaway on Survivor: David vs. Goliath. The season kicked off this past Thursday (Manila time) with an epic premiere. And as promised, this column will zero in on how The Mayor of Slamtown maneuvered his way through the game, for better or worse.

Come on in, guys! *looks at feet*


Did John Hennigan get voted out this week? 

Nope. The Goliath Tribe won this past week’s Immunity Challenge, so they got spared from Tribal Council again.

Did he hit someone this week? 

Nope. He’s actually been pretty chill.

Okay, but has he gotten to show off his parkour skills? 

Not really. The challenges so far haven't really required it yet.

So, how was he portrayed on the show? 

It was a relatively lowkey episode for our boy Johnny Mundo this week, as he was only really involved in two scenes.

The first one saw him trying to align with Natalie Cole—no, not Nat King Cole's daughter; she passed away three years ago.

This is Natalie Cole.


On the show, she comes across as an intense and abrasive older woman, who's really rubbed her tribemates the wrong way because of her bossy and domineering attitude. Johnny Nitro tried to get her to dial it back so their tribe wouldn't target her if they lose the Immunity Challenge.

Why would he do that? Shouldn't he be glad that he isn't the tribe's target right now? 

Well, our boy John Morrison thinks it'd be a great idea to align with someone like Natalie because nobody would see it coming. After all, attractive and athletic male players generally don't align with older women on the show. As a matter of fact, even the younger male/older female alliance isn't very common throughout the show's history, too.


If you remember our preseason article about Johnny Impact, he mentioned John Cochran, winner of Survivor: Caramoan (Fans vs. Favorites) as one of his favorite players. Cochran partnered up with an older female player in Dawn Meehan en route to his perfect game, in which nobody voted against him and everyone on the Jury voted for him to win. So maybe he's using the Cochran/Dawn alliance as some sort of blueprint.

Natalie may have rebuffed The Shaman Of Sexy, but he may have found himself in another, more powerful alliance.

Okay, so who's he aligned with? 

There seems to be a majority alliance on the show forming between Natalia Azoqa, Angelina Keeley, and Kara Kay. Each of the women have a male partner that they're bringing into the fold, completing the 6-person majority in this group of ten.


Natalia's got Alec Merlino, Kara's got Dan Rengering (one of the three viral “Hot Cops” from Gainesville, Florida who went viral in 2017), and Angelina's got The Mayor of Slamtown.

Is this a good idea for him? 

On the outset, yes. You never want to say no to an alliance on Survivor, at least at face value.

But according to the confessionals from the women, their plan is to string the guys along, and then clip them when the men least expect it. It's a more current version of the Black Widow Brigade Alliance from Survivor: Micronesia (Fans vs. Favorites), where the women ruled the roost and slit the throats of the men through blindside after blindside.


Angelina seems to think that The Wednesday Night Delight is a meathead, who can blinded by love goggles on the island, so he'll be easy to wrap around her finger. The problem with that is she doesn't know that our boy either just got married before flying off to Fiji, or is set to tie the knot with his fiancée and fellow professional wrestler, Taya, after the game.

That said, I honestly think Angelina is severely underestimating Mr. AB-raham Lincoln. In theory, the plan seems sound. But it also heavily relies on the perceived lack of intelligence on the part of the men. And I'm inclined to believe that Mr. Hennigan isn't going to fall for this Black Widow so easily.

Besides, he seems to be capable of thinking outside the box based alone on his interaction with Natalie and his intent to bring her in as an ally. He may be relatively new to Survivor, but Mundo's got game.

*****

What do you think of JoMo's second week on Survivor? Is he setting himself up for a good run, or is he setting himself up for disaster?

Drop us a confessional and your vote down below! Survivors ready… Go!

Screenshots from CBS

*****



Stan Sy (@_StanSy) is the Editor at Large of Smark Henry, and is also a radio DJ on Wave 89.1, an events host, a freelance writer, and one of the hosts of The Smark Gilas-Pilipinas Podcast. He also used to be one of the hosts and writers of The Wrestling Gods on FOX. He enjoys watching WWE, NXTLucha Underground, and the occasional New Japan match. You can ask him questions about wrestling, Survivor (yes, the reality show), or whatever you like on his CuriousCat account.

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