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The Future is IIconic: Elimination Chamber 2019 Predictions (Please)


Who ever said coasting through the Road to WrestleMania was going to be easy? We’re now at the second roadblock before Mania and trust us, it’s a big roadblock. It’s Elimination Chamber! This means we will once again pit two of our esteemed and dehydrated weekly reviewers, RAW’s Jofer Serapio and SmackDown Live’s Ricky Publico in a prediction showdown. You guys ready? Let’s lock these two up and begin speculating!

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton vs. Samoa Joe vs. Daniel Bryan (c)


Ricky: Kofi Kingston. I still have the Kofi Kingston fever, dammit! I was already expecting Daniel Bryan to retain his Free Love title but this week’s epic gauntlet match completely change my mind. After all, we’ve seen crazy stuff happen inside the Chamber. Remember when Bray Wyatt won the WWE Championship in 2017 out of nowhere? This year could be Kofi Kingston’s year. It’s time to shake things up once again here at the Land of Opportunity.

Jofer: Samoa Joe. It’s a hard sell, I know, but I’m sticking with my favorite Samoan Submission Machine just because it’s about time that this guy becomes a champion on the main roster. Hardy, Orton, Styles, and even Bryan have had their time. It’s time for Joe to go to WrestleMania, defend the WWE Championship against Daniel Bryan in a match of many submission holds, and destroy everyone’s expectations.

Elimination Chamber Match for the Inaugural WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose vs. Naomi & Carmella vs. Nia Jax & Tamina vs. Liv Morgan & Sarah Logan vs. The IIconics (Peyton Royce & Billie Kay)


Jofer: The IIconics. The IIconics are the only true tag team in this match, having debuted on the main roster together as a team. You see, they aren’t just two singles competitors thrown together because Creative had nothing in mind for their individual careers. These two actually started in Australia, occasionally fighting each other, and made their way to the WWE together. If that doesn’t sound like the perfect pair to launch (or re-launch) WWE’s women’s tag team division, then eat kangaroo punch, you wiley wombat.

Ricky: The IIconics. Yes! Finally, someone who also shares the same vision as me! I consider strong teams like Sasha/Bayley and Nia/Tamina to be red herrings anyway. Who doesn’t want this fantastic heel team to annoy everyone on both shows? So yes, please make this happen. Plus, they already have the perfect pose for it. 




RAW Women’s Championship Match: Ruby Riott vs. Ronda Rousey (c)


Jofer: Ronda Rousey. Ruby Riott is a great wrestler and all, but she’s just a detour on Rousey’s road to that WrestleMania Triple Threat match against Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch. I could be mad but what’s the point? It is what it is.

Ricky: Ronda Rousey. No disrespect to Ruby Riott, but there’s no way she’s winning this one... unless they want Rousey to lose the title to Riott and have her face Becky Lynch in the main event as a money match ala Rock/Hogan. Oh, I’m sorry. Did I make you more anxious about Becky Lynch’s WrestleMania future?

SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) vs. Shane McMahon & The Miz (c)


Ricky: The Usos, Jimmy Uso’s recent arrest be damned. Not that I want Shane McMahon and The Miz to break up, but I’d rather have them lose the title now and free Miz up to chase the WWE Championship. Besides, this gives the other tag teams on SmackDown Live a chance to chase the belts from the best tag team in the division right now. So yeah, everyone wins.

Jofer: Shane McMahon & The Miz. I’m sure we’ve all heard by now, thanks to TMZ, so I’m not getting my hopes up and betting on The Uce. It’s not like I’d rather have The Uce as champs, anyway. I’d rather have SAnitY take the titles off McMiz, but that’s just me.

Handicap Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush


Jofer: Finn Balor. This was a bit hard because my heart said Finn but my brain said Lashley, mostly because this is a freaking handicap match and both Bobby and Lio are superb athletes—I mean, Finn’s great and all, but Bobby’s got the power and Lio can match if not surpass Finn’s speed—but I guess they’re not branding Finn as The Extraordinary Man Who blah blah Extraordinary blah blah. Besides, he’s probably bringing the Demon, right? It’s a PPV and it’s been too long. Finn, bring me the freaking Demon!

Ricky: Finn Balor. At this point, I’d have to disagree with Jofer and suggest Balor shouldn’t bring his Demon alter-ego on this one. No disrespect to Bobby Lashley, but Brock Lesnar was a far more dangerous and important threat to vanquish. If Balor chooses to bring back the Demon for a measly Intercontinental Championship, then he should really reconsider his life decisions. So if Balor could win this one by himself, that would be great.

No Disqualification Match: Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin


Jofer: Braun Strowman. I don’t care about this match. I have 0% interest in this match. We’ve seen this all before. Strowman is murdering Corbin for the nth time. Like how he murders everyone not named Brock Lesnar.

Ricky: Braun Strowman. What he said.

Kickoff Match: WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match: Akira Tozawa vs. Buddy Murphy (c)


Jofer: Buddy Murphy. Aside from the fact that it’d be awesome if Murphy retains as The IIconics become the inaugural WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions—yay, Australia!—it doesn’t look like Tozawa’s going to be the one to topple Buddy’s dominance. I mean, Tozawa’s cool and all, but I just don’t see him as being on Murphy’s level the way he is now. Murphy’s a beast and Tozawa’s still the same old Tozawa. Maybe if Brian Kendrick distracts Murphy? Nah, my bet’s on Buddy going home still the champ.

Ricky: Buddy Murphy, but there's a chance they’ll have Tozawa win it just to spite Hideo Itami for leaving. “This could be you, KENTA, but you playin’.” Anyway, Murphy’s killing it as the dominant champ so I’m sure his reign won’t end even after WrestleMania. Don’t sleep on this match though. When did the cruiserweights ever disappoint you with a boring title match?

Well, would you look at that? Our two reviewers survived another round of predictions. While we place them back to their chambers and prime them up for the next PPV, place your bets at the comments below. Do you also want to see Kofi Kingston win the big one? Who are your picks to become the first-ever WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions? Don’t be shy, commenting’s free!

*****

Jofer Serapio (@ShawarmaJoe) reviews WWE RAW & NXT UK for Smark Henry. He has been an avid professional wrestling fan since grade school. These reviews are as close to professional wrestling as he can get. According to him, Kevin Owens is his best friend in the whole wide world. He continues to DM a fake Johnny Saint Twitter account about bringing Sheamus in for his stupid Sons of Sheamus idea.




Ricky Jay Publico (@NitPickRick) is a wrestling fan who enjoys watching high flyers and brawlers battle it out in the ring. A frequent Botchamania binge-watcher, he claims to have memorized the chronological order of Royal Rumble winners, but fails to remember who won in 2004. He writes stories about life and nonsense.

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